I’m all aflutter
Oh God, Kill me now
I am giddy
I am terrified
Restless over possibilities I’m imagining
Wondering WHAT ELSE could go wrong?
Feeling alive again
Yet already waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Seeing kindness in his eyes
Wondering if it’s all just wishful thinking
Impressed I’ve allowed myself to feel again
Desperately trying to cling to wariness, bitterness and ager that has ruled me
Wanting something new, something fresh, something real
Ready for another cheating alcoholic, or a marriage while still dating
Peeking around from my walls, letting a few bricks fall,
All the while looking for more mortar
Feeling all girly
And HATING every second of it.
By the possibilities of a future;
By the hurtful destruction of my past
Hoping for a chance at love,
Squeamish at the thought of taking it.