I’m all aflutter

Oh God, Kill me now

I am giddy

I am terrified

Restless over possibilities I’m imagining

Wondering WHAT ELSE could go wrong?

Feeling alive again

Yet already waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Seeing kindness in his eyes

Wondering if it’s all just wishful thinking

Impressed I’ve allowed myself to feel again

Desperately trying to cling to wariness, bitterness and ager that has ruled me

Wanting something new, something fresh, something real

Ready for another cheating alcoholic, or a marriage while still dating

Peeking around from my walls, letting a few bricks fall,

All the while looking for more mortar

Feeling all girly

And HATING every second of it.


By the possibilities of a future;


By the hurtful destruction of my past

Hoping for a chance at love,

Squeamish at the thought of taking it.


Posted on February 2, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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