The below is one of the posts I did for my previous blog, the one under my real name. I want to sprinkle many of those posts into this blog here and there, and with the dreaded V-Day this week, I thought this fit. Enjoy! ~ML
Here is something you need to know. No matter the situation, a girl doesn’t like being replaced. No matter how amicable the situation, the separation, it still plucks a nerve, perhaps causes a twinge of jealousy that leaves us so completely baffled that we don’t know how to handle it, nor will we admit to it to anyone except for our bff’s. Of course, there are always the not-so-amicable situations that leave us anywhere from broken to enraged to psychotic, depending on the woman, depending on the situation. We do not want to be any of these things, really, we would rather handle a break-up or dissolution of an arrangement with grace and dignity, but in order to do that, we need you to remember a few things, and abide by some rules:
1. First and foremost, do not cheat. This should be a no-brainer, but it keeps happening time and time again. You do this, and you run the risk of us being enraged or psychotic, which is not a pretty thing for anyone involved. Perhaps you thrive on drama, be sure, you will get it. But, as I said before, us women want to be able to handle ourselves with dignity; allow us that opportunity.
2. If you do meet someone you may be interested in while still involved with us, be a man about it. Own up to it right away; do not let us be the one who finds/figures it out on our own. Be honest with us, be honest with her. Do not leave anyone hanging in the balance. This goes for both the casual arrangement and the most serious of relationships. As I said, a girl doesn’t like to be replaced.
3. Do not expect everything to be just peachy the next time we see you. It will not be; it will not be the same. It can go back to normal (more so with the casual arrangement than the serious), but not right away.
4. Do not throw us into a situation where we have to interact with our replacement. Show us a sliver of respect, serious relationship or not, we shared a bit of ourselves with you, and we deserve that respect. Even if you are a known, well, let’s just use the word player, and are both in it just for sex, know that unless the woman is completely hard-hearted, putting her in a space with the replacement is going to be awkward at best. You might not be able to see it, but there is a plucked nerve, slight annoyance, or twinge of jealousy. We are not proud of it; we may not understand it, we may not admit to it, but it is there. We chose to sleep with you, all the while knowing your ways, and we expect nothing less. However, no matter our reason for our previous arrangement, as women, we do give at least a tiny bit of ourselves, while not necessarily our hearts, to you. If the arrangement has run its course, that’s fine, we wish you well, we move on. Most often than not, we do not rub your noses in any newfound relationships, at least not at first. Do us that same courtesy.
5. We are females, we do judge; we cannot help it. Even if we are the type never to engage in most of the other petty, catty, backstabbing ways of so many women out there, we still do this. We judge harshly usually…it is ingrained in our DNA…again, we do not like to be replaced. We have to find fault with her, and with you in order for us to move on. Sometimes this is just a fleeting issue; sometimes we always feel this way.
6. Remember: Communication is the Hardest Thing We Do. If you do not want a relationship with us, TELL US. Don’t make the mistake of saying, “well, I don’t want a relationship right now…(insert corny excuse here).” Us girls, we overanalyze things. In your mind, you have told us that you are not interested, but for us, we still think there is hope for the future. You didn’t say that you didn’t want a relationship with US, so we think that when you are ready for a relationship, it will be with us.
7. Remember, if you lie or deceive us in any way, we WILL find out. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will happen. Honesty is the best policy, I say, but if you cannot be honest, be prepared for the backlash, and when you least expect it.
A frustrated female; recently replaced.