I would like to say that I am FINALLY over my stupid school girl crush on one of the security guards at the mall in which I work my second job. I wish I could. I will say I am much closer, despite the several breath-stealing “he’s so pretty” moments, to my utter dismay, I experienced over the weekend. If I could get past that, and could somehow turn the Rickdar , as I call it, off, I would be done. And I mean DONE. It’s not as if anything could have happened anyway, and to be honest, he’s been simply a distraction. I’m GOOD at distraction. This way, I’ve been focusing on him rather than doing anything about finding someone worth dating.
But, that is not something I need to delve into today. My point today is not even really about Rick…ok, the theme revolves around him, but the deeper message does not. I have a situation at the second job. There is a giant of a man, whom I know from rec center volleyball, who frequents the mall where I work on a regular basis. Since volleyball years ago, he has had a bit of a thing for me, and has asked me out on numerous occasions. He is mentally challenged, and until recently, seemed a decent enough fellow that I did not want to hurt his feelings, so I would use the whole “we’re friends, I don’t want to mess that up” line on him. He has asked me out numerous times while working at the mall as well, but a couple months ago, it took a turn. I completely understand that his refusal to let this go, and accept no for an answer has to do with whatever challenges he has. I get that. I try to be patient, but am the first to admit that patience is not a virtue that I have an abundance of.
A few months ago, this man (we’ll call him D from now on) decided to ask me out again. However, this time it was different. In a span of 10 minutes, he probably asked me out 15-20 times, with pleading in between when I would try to tell him no. Needless to say, my patience was wearing thin, and I know it showed. When he didn’t get the answer he desired, he huffily called me a jerk, and angrily stomped off. I have seen this behavior from D several times in the past. While playing volleyball, if he made a mistake, he would get angry with himself and have similar, somewhat scary outbursts. I asked to be escorted to my vehicle by security that night, and I have asked for that escort every evening that I know D has been around.
Luckily, even though D has been in the mall lately, he has not approached me or the store in the last several weeks. However, after this outburst, he was continually coming around the store. There was one day in which he was at the store on 4 separate occasions, only making a purchase once. And then, he moved to the other side, only to stare at me as I worked. At this point, Rick did at least tell him he needed to sit down, as he was holding back the laughter. See, Rick does not believe D to be a threat. Will he or would he do something violent towards me? I don’t know. All I know is that he is a close to 7ft tall, nearly 5ft wide man who could do some serious damage if he was prone to violence. I am being cautious and careful, and looking out for my safety.
I only ask for a security escort when/if D is around. I keep my pepper spray handy anytime I go in and out of that mall now, just in case, but unless he’s there, I will not take up the guards’ time. I do, however, try to get one of the taller/bigger guys to escort me out, which usually means its Rick or one other guard. A few weeks ago, that other guard was off, which led me to wait for Rick to ask for an escort.
Yes, as security guard, he refused to escort a mall employee to their vehicle.
He told me that he would radio one of the other guys to do it (the 60+year old who is small, and while not exactly frail, I would be the one protecting him, not the other way around). Not only did Rick refuse to walk me out, but he also did not call the other guard. So, I stood in the store, after shift for more than 20 minutes waiting to be walked out, until I finally had the old man walk me out.
I was…hell, I am LIVID. He is Security. It is his job to provide an escort to any mall employee who wants it. It is not his job to decide whether the threat is real or not. And I really have a huge problem with people who will not do their jobs…there is almost nothing more aggravating than someone who does not do what they are supposed to do. It is my job, as a single woman, living far enough from my hometown that few would notice if I went missing, to decide what is or could be a threat. I am a capable woman, do not get me wrong, I can shoot a gun, have worked on the farm, have bench pressed more than my body weight, and know I have a gruff, tough, “I am woman, hear me roar,” I can handle everyone and everything attitude. But, I have limits. I know that there is no possible way I could survive an attack from someone so large. I might have some speed advantage, but for as large a man as he is, he is almost stealthy. I try to be on alert on the days that D usually visits the mall, and I still miss seeing him. I am lucky in the fact that all of security is aware of the situation. They all know that I have this near-stalker problem. They, my boss, and housekeeping all keep me informed if they see D in the mall. I appreciate that.
Rick’s attitude, and especially his refusal to escort me out of the building, has me up in arms, however. He may “know some crazy dudes,” and think “he aint crazy,” but I do not know that, I cannot know that for sure. Honestly, we cannot know that about anyone anymore. I have seen the scary behavior in this person before; I do not know what he is capable of. He may think he can predict how someone will behave, but that is sometimes difficult for even trained professionals to do. He has no way of knowing what will or will not happen. I have been a victim at the hands of a much smaller man before; I will do whatever is in my power not to allow that to happen again. He cannot decide for me, no man can decide for me, nor for any other woman, who or what should be considered a threat, or the potential to be a threat. What right does he have to act with such utter superiority, and disregard for the concern of others??!! Oh, and you know what? I have decided, if he refuses again, I will be reporting him to his superiors. His behavior is unacceptable. Now, if only he would stop being so damn pretty! Grrrr…..